Show Me A Sign!

There are many times in life, especially when the path isn’t clear or I'm fearful, that I want a sign from the Universe; a sign from God that I’m not alone. I look for hearts in the clouds, a heart rock on the beach, and the miracles of connection that simply can’t be just a coincidence.

Most of us do this in our own unique ways. We believe God is with us when something great happens and life is flowing effortlessly in the direction of our hopes and dreams. Then, when things are difficult or we feel lonely or fearful, we have the feeling God isn’t there or the universe is against us, and we search for signs as proof we're wrong.

In the movie, Bruce Almighty, Jim Carey feels his life is falling apart and he says “Lord, give me a signal; send me a sign” as he’s driving by flashing signals and a truck filled with signs. He screams at God, “Fine! You’re the one who should be fired! You’re the only one around here not doing His job! ANSWER ME!!” His beeper goes off and it’s a number he doesn’t know. He looks at it and says, “Don’t know you and wouldn’t answer if I did.” This is such a great comedic scene about what so many of us do in times of distress. The “signs” may be all around us. The path may be clear ahead of us but we struggle and feel abandoned and victimized because it doesn’t look the way we think it should.

Recently, I was walking on the beach in LaPush, Washington. This northernmost tip of Washington situated in the Olympic National Forest is filled with beauty. Gorgeous cliffs rise above the beach, picturesque rock formations in the harbor draw photographers from near and far, an abundance of driftwood and rocks of every shape and color cover the beach, convocations of eagles are frequent and breathtaking forests abound. It’s difficult to deny there is a God in a place like this.

I felt particularly uncertain during this time and as I walked along on this gorgeous, sunny, March day with whales breaching not far from shore and eagles soaring overhead, I said, “God, show me a heart rock so I know you’re with me.” Just then, the irony struck me and I started laughing. I stopped and looked around and said, “Really, Kelly?”

At this moment I could see God all around me. It was comical that I would actually doubt a greater force in the universe while I scoured the beach for the one sign I thought would make the difference for me. It’s not as easy to see signs when I'm at my desk at work, sick at home with a cold, or caring for an ill loved one, but it’s possible.

My latest adventure was a trip to Bali, Indonesia. As I walked the beach here, I found myself searching for God again. Searching for a sign that God is with me, that I’m on the right path, that I’m not alone or forgotten. The message I received was, “Kelly, you’re on a beach in Bali”.

I laugh at myself often. It's a gift to see the humor in my humanness when I’m hurting or afraid. It doesn’t always make it easier but it sees me through rough patches with more light-heartedness and bursts of clarity.

Right this minute, I’m sitting here alone in my living room at 5:00 a.m. with no eagle on my shoulder or phone calls from God, and it feels a little lonely. But I’m here with a brand new day ahead of me filled with endless possibilities, and I get to live life and grow in consciousness. Surely, that's a sign I'm not alone in this life deal.

Just being here is enough, isn’t it?