Monsters Cordially Invited

A few weeks ago I wrote a story titled, Monsters Not Invited. It’s a personal story about growing up with my mom’s illness and how some of the disease “monsters” still haunt me today.

I made a point in the story to explain that I don’t view my experiences or feelings as good or bad, or right or wrong which expresses a level of acceptance. However, “Monsters Not Invited” eludes to my attempt to escape or avoid the monsters. I also used an image that depicts fighting the monster. (story posted on my blog)

Since writing the story, I’ve been studying more Buddhist teachings and my mind has continually gone back to my “monsters”. The books and talks I’ve been immersed in teach that we must go toward our pain and discomfort rather than habitually trying to escape from it. And, our search for freedom from pain and discomfort traps us in a cycle of more pain and discomfort. This reminds me of one of my favorite quotes, “The search for happiness is the chief source of unhappiness.”

In Pema Chodron’s book, When Things Fall Apart, there is actually a passage that reads, “It’s like inviting what scares us to introduce itself and hang around for a while. As Milarepa sang to the monsters he found in his cave, “It is wonderful you demons came today. You must come again tomorrow. From time to time we should converse.” We start by working with the monsters in our mind. Then we develop the wisdom and compassion to communicate sanely with the threats and fears of our daily life.” Yes, I read this a couple weeks after writing my story. Coincidence? May be.

It seems to be human nature that we do whatever we can to escape or avoid pain. We attempt to protect ourselves from painful experiences through controlling, withholding or avoiding and when we are caught in a painful or uncomfortable emotion or life experience, we clamor to find our way out as quickly as possible or numb ourselves with alcohol, shopping, television, and a plethora of other escape tactics.

My deepest intuition tells me these Buddhist teachings about being with what scares me is a better way through difficult times. Not easier, but ultimately better. And accepting that life will always be a constantly changing experience filled with pain and unknowns along with joy and fulfilment will remove at least some of the need to run for the hills when things get rough. All great spiritual teachers touch on these truths.

Please understand - I’m not completely delusional (ha ha). I know that I’m not suddenly going to be propelled into a continual state of peace and contentment and live unaffected by fear and heartache. However, I would like to cordially invite my monsters to sit with me and possibly even thank them. Afterall, without the monsters that scare me and lead me to darkness, I wouldn’t have the deep desire to seek the light. Without them, I wouldn’t have a need to seek a deeper level of spirituality and growth.

There are so many perspectives that could point me to a place of gratitude for monsters. How I choose to live with them is up to me, right? You must admit, that’s empowering!

Monsters Cordially Invited.